|Image from aussiegall|
Josh is a widower, not something that I ever thought would be part of my love story unless I pictured myself getting remarried at 85 with purple hair to a man with dentures and a cane. But life isn't what we expect, and it wouldn't be half as wonderful if we did. I am really blessed that Josh's family, both his and Jenni's welcomed me with open arms. It takes some really special people to be kind and gracious and they have been all that and more to me.
Navigating through this process is new to both of us and at times we both make mistakes. I get sad, he gets sad, we both learn to communicate how we are feeling as delicately as possible.
Things I have learned during this process:
1. I don't have to feel the need to compete. She and I are two different people, both awesome and lovely in our own way.
2. I love Josh more because of what he has been through, and he wouldn't be the same guy that I am head over heels in love with if he hadn't. I am so truly blessed to be dating and marrying a man who doesn't take a single second for granted and treats me like a princess. (Seriously, what guy gets up before you do and takes your dog out so you don't have to get up from your hibernation?)
3. At times things are going to be brought up from Josh's past that are a bit hard for me, but as long as his hand is in mine I can handle it.
4. Josh loves us both, equally, differently. If you are dating or married to a widower, it's important to know that, to hear that from your spouse.
5. Have someone you can talk to other than your spouse. My best friend Katie is always there for me when I need an ear. God made people to go through life together, and having someone you can spill your guts to is really therapeutic, that's what best friends are for.
6. Be there to listen when your spouse needs to talk, know that there will be tough times for them, that it doesn't take away their love for you. But during those times, it's your turn to listen, to give the biggest hug and to love them in these sad moments.
I am so thankful for this man and our love story. If you are going through something similar, know that you are not alone, and Josh and I are sending a huge hug your way.